WAKAD JOURNAL: November 2012

Friday, November 23, 2012

IMAGE MANAGEMENT CANNOT MAKE YOU A GENTLEMAN

THE MAKING OF A GENTLEMAN

AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN

YOU MAY BE AN OFFICER BUT ARE YOU A GENTLEMAN ?

Image Management and OLQ can Make You an Officer, not a Gentleman

Click the link below to read my original post in my journal

Also posted below for your convenience

GENTLEMAN OFFICER
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/11/gentleman-officer.html

WHO IS A GENTLEMAN – DEFINITION and MEANING

JOTTINGS FROM MY “ANCIENT” DIARIES

Part 1

OFFICER AND GENTLEMAN

VIKRAM KARVE

During our annual Pre-Diwali “cleanship”, while tidying my bookcase and bookshelves and cleaning my books, I browsed through my old diaries which I have preserved with great care.

During my student days, and even later, during my working days, I always carried around a diary and jotted down anything I found interesting – anything I read or heard or saw that appealed to me.

From time to time I will share with you in my blog some jottings from my “ancient” diaries.

DEFINITION OF A GENTLEMAN

Today I will talk about the definition of the word “gentleman” which I jotted down while attending a lecture during a leadership workshop in the year 1992.

But before we get to the definition, let us ponder a bit on the meaning of the word “gentleman”.

(Though written for the masculine gender GENTLEMAN this applies to the feminine gender LADY as well)

WHO IS A GENTLEMAN ?

If you look at the concept of “gentleman” in an holistic manner, a gentleman comprises two aspects:

1. Form

2. Substance

FORM ATTRIBUTES

Form refers to the external “image management” or “personality development” aspects – visible behaviour and outward appearance – traits like poise, grooming, manners, etiquette, dress, accent, diction, speech, smartness, courteousness, elegance, style, refinement, sophistication and polished behaviour.

In the Navy, or in the Army, Air Force, Military and Civil Services, an Officer is trained in these aspects which are called OLQ or “Officer Like Qualities” when he joins service at various training academies.

In the civvy street there are Finishing Schools, Image Management Trainers and Personality Development Coaches who help inculcate in people the “form” attributes of a gentleman.

But form alone does not make a gentleman.

A true gentleman must have both form and substance.

Form is important but it is the substance which establishes the true worth of a man.

A man possessing only form but no substance is a phoney gentleman and we see many such fake charlatans masquerading as gentlemen.

We saw what is meant by “form”.

Now let us see what is meant by “substance”.

SUBSTANCE ATTRIBUTES

Form consists of external visible attributes.

Substance comprises invisible internal virtues.

Here is a definition which defines the substance of a gentleman:

An honest man, a man with a sense of duties and obligations of his position, whatever it may be, a man who tells the truth, a man who gives others their due, a man considerate to the weak, a man who has principles and stands by them, a man who is not elated by good fortune and not too depressed by bad luck, a man who is loyal, a man who can be trusted

The real virtues of a gentleman are inherent in the above definition.

Whether civilian or military, an Officer is considered a Gentleman.

But, tell me, in the context of the definition above, how many officers truly possess all the attributes enunciated in the definition above?

Image Management, Personality Development and Social Standing can give you “form” but it is your “substance” which will make you a complete and genuine gentleman.

If you look around you in urban society, you will find so many persons who look like gentlemen (as they exhibit the requisite “form”). But when you look more closely, even at high ranking officers and those way up on the social pecking order, you will discover who are the genuine men of “substance” and who are masquerading as gentlemen.

You may be an officer, but are you a gentleman?

VIKRAM KARVE

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

Did you like reading this blog post?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my recently published book of short stories COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

Posted by Vikram Karve

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Evergreen Classic Song - Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head

One of my favorite evergreen songs Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head from the Movie Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid

Click below and enjoy the song

WOMEN IN THE NAVY - Is Navy A Good Career Option For Women - THE MARRIAGE DILEMMA

WOMEN IN THE NAVY
Is Navy A Good Career Option For Women?
THE MARRIAGE DILEMMA
A Naval Yarn
DELIGHTFUL MEMORIES OF MY HALCYON NAVY DAYS – Part 5
By
VIKRAM KARVE

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/11/women-in-navy-naval-yarn-delightful.html

DELIGHTFUL MEMORIES OF MY HALCYON NAVY DAYS – Part 5

WOMEN IN THE NAVY

Short Fiction – An Apocryphal Story

A Naval Yarn

VIKRAM KARVE

Disclaimer: Please read this apocryphal story only if you have a sense of humour. This is a yarn, pure fiction, a fantasy, a figment of imagination.

Did you know that there are Naval Officers who never go to Sea?

“A Naval Officer who doesn’t go to Sea” – sounds strange, isn’t it?

How can you be in the Navy, don spotless white naval uniform, and yet you never have to sail on Ships?

It is possible. Believe it or not. You can be in the Navy and yet you don’t have to go to sea. It can happen. Yes, it can happen only in India.

Around 20 years ago, sometime in the early 1990’s perhaps, they decided to induct women into the navy (which till then was an all-male preserve).

This could have been a progressive step had they treated women on par with men and inducted women into seagoing branches and applied the same standards and performance criteria to women, as is done in some foreign navies.

Unfortunately, in India, induction of women in the navy seemed to be mere tokenism and the implementation was quite cosmetic in nature.

Maybe at that point of time this “historic” step was taken just to earn a few “gender equality” brownie points

Women were allowed to join only as landlubbers in the Education Branch of the Navy.

Though women naval officers wore the same white uniform they were restricted to shore duties and never had to go to sea.

Today, we are at the end of the year 2012, and more than 20 years have passed since women first joined the navy and I feel that it is high time that lady naval officers are given seagoing duties.

Women have broken the glass ceiling in almost all careers, but sadly, as far as the navy is concerned, we remain stuck in an outdated archaic prehistoric cultural time-warp and we still don’t allow women naval officers to have a full-fledged seagoing career which requires them to sail on ships, shoulder to shoulder with their male counterparts.

On the other hand, women naval officers must be prepared to face the same tough life and hardships as their male counterparts face at sea and women must not ask for concessions, special considerations and relaxation of standards, especially since the navy is a fighting force.

To put it in a nutshell, women naval officers must not expect the navy to mollycoddle them. They must not ask for preferential treatment just because they belong to the “fairer sex”. Women must be prepared to be treated on par with their male counterparts, in all aspects of service life.

In the latter half of my naval career, I did have a few women officers as my colleagues and most of them were highly qualified, dedicated and proficient in their work and it was a delight to work with them. Most of us treated women officers as equals and it made no difference whether it was a male or female officer – both delivered the goods equally well.

But unfortunately, in some cases, the archaic mindset had not changed, and there still existed a patronizing attitude towards women, and in some cases, a few women naval officers took undue advantage of this favouritism.

Take the case of marriage. One is free to marry whoever one wants. But even in this personal matter there was a rather amusing patronizing attitude.

Though not explicitly stated in black and white, there was a tacit encouragement for women naval officers to marry within the service – yes, if you were a lady naval officer, getting married to a male naval officer had great advantages; and conversely, if you got married to a civilian, you were at a comparative disadvantage.

To illustrate this, let us take the case of “A” – a brilliant young lady naval officer.

“A” had a degree in Electronics and Communication Engineering from a premier engineering college. She had passed out at the top of her class in first class with distinction and was offered excellent jobs with good career prospects in the best of IT Software and Engineering Companies during campus placement.

It was puzzling as to why she decided to join the navy despite the fact that she was aware that she would have limited career prospects in the navy, unlike in the civilian world where her career opportunities and scope for advancement were much brighter.

Firstly, despite being technically qualified, she would have to join the education branch (since technical branches are seagoing branches and women naval officers do not go to sea).

Secondly, she was being offered a short service commission of 5 years (as was the norm for women officers those days).

Being in the education branch she would spend most of her time on instructional duties teaching basic science and mathematics to trainee sailors and this surely would not add value to her technical experience and, once she left the navy after 5 years to search for a job, she would be at a professional disadvantage as compared to her “techie” counterparts who were gaining valuable relevant experience doing technical jobs in the industry.

We found “A” to be an outstanding officer and whatever her duties, she performed them cheerfully with efficiency, diligence, sincerity and competence.

Just a few days earlier, the moment she was 25 years of age (the navy marriageable age) “A” married her college sweetheart who worked in a leading software firm in Mumbai. Luckily, after serving at different places, “A” had been posted to Mumbai 6 months earlier and looked forward to spending the next two years with her husband in Mumbai by which time her short service tenure in the navy would come to an end.

“A” was a lively person, full of life and always in good cheer, maybe because of the first flush of marriage. She was a delightful person who enlivened the atmosphere of the workplace.

One day we were quite surprised to find “A” in a sour mood.

We asked her what was the matter.

“I am going to be transferred out of Mumbai,” she complained bitterly.

“That’s not possible,” we said, “You’ve just spend 6 months here and the normal tenure is 3 years.”

“I know, Sir,” she said, “but they want to move me out to accommodate my batchmate who has married a naval officer who is under transfer to Mumbai. They want to move her to Mumbai along with him so they can be together. So we have to exchange places – she comes here in my place and I have to go out of Mumbai to her place. I told them that I too am recently married but they said that my husband was a civilian working in a private company. They are favouring her because she married a naval officer and discriminating against me because I married a civilian.”

“Are you saying that you feel that they are victimizing you just because you did not marry a naval officer?” we asked her.

“Yes,” she said indignantly.

“Don’t worry,” we said, “we’ll do something.”

I rang up a friend in the education branch and told him to find out the true facts.

He rang back a few hours later saying that, indeed yes, there was an unwritten policy that a “naval couple” was to be accommodated in the same station as far as possible.

“This amounts to victimization?” I said.

“Victimization?” he sounded surprised.

“Yes. It is all relative. If you favour someone, then you end up victimizing someone else. While trying to favour one lady naval officer for marrying within the service, you cannot victimize another just because she did not marry a naval officer,” I said.

I also told him that we were going to take up this matter.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do something,” he said.

Her batchmate who married a naval officer was “accommodated” in some other billet in Mumbai and “A” remained with us in Mumbai till the end of her tenure and “A” was able to spend the first few years of her married life with her “civilian” husband.

Later, after retirement, I met many young girls who had joined the defence services and I realized that marriage was indeed a dilemma for a girl serving in the army, navy or air force.

As far a marriage was concerned, a girl joining the defence forces had three options:

1. If she married someone from within the service it was fine – the “service couple” would be looked after and, as per the unwritten policy, all efforts would be made to keep them together.

2. If she married a civilian she would have to be prepared for a long distance marriage.

3. And if she did not marry while in service, by the time she completed her short service tenure of 7 or 10 years, she would be well past what is considered to be the “marriageable age” in India and it would be difficult for her to find a suitable groom.

If you are a young bright woman who is thinking of joining the army, navy or air force it is very noble thing to do but you must fully aware of the pros and cons of service life (especially those aspects which affect your personal life like marriage) so that you will be happy and enjoy your tenure in the defence forces.

Considering this marriage predicament, that’s why, probably, most girls who join the defence forces prefer to marry within the service and, maybe, there is some merit in encouraging this trend by giving some tacit incentives, though there may be some concomitant disadvantages as well.

I have observed contrasting views regarding romance at work and marriage within the organisation. Someone told me that there were old-fashioned “boxwallah” companies which prohibited marriage between two employees (one of them had to resign). On the other hand there are some “modern” firms which encourage marriages between employees and even facilitate in-house romances by giving incentives like dating allowance.

Dear Reader: What is your view?

VIKRAM KARVE

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

Did you like this story?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

About Vikram Karve

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Untitled

via karvediat.blogspot.com

PUNE REAL ESTATE GUIDE - RAMBLINGS OF A NOVICE SELF-STYLED PROPERTY GURU

In case you are interested in reading my clueless ramblings on the Real Estate Scene in Pune – the random musings of a novice self-styled Property Guru - here are a few links you can click.

ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING A HOUSE IN PUNE

Part 1: WHY ARE PROPERTY RATES SO HIGH IN WAKAD PUNE
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/why-are-property-rates-so-high-in-wakad....

Part 2: REAL ESTATE PRICES IN PUNE – HYPE AND REALITY
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/real-estate-prices-in-pune-hype-and.html

Part 3: HOUSE HUNTING IN PUNE - 5 TIPS FOR PROPERTY BUYING
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/house-hunting-in-pune-5-tips-for-buying....

Part 4: TRY BEFORE YOU BUY
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/05/are-you-thinking-of-buying-house-in.html

Part 5: The Real Estate Triad – Quality, Appreciation and Rental Value
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/pune-property-quality-appreciation.html

Part 6: WHO IS BUYING PROPERTY IN PUNE - End Users, Investors or Speculators
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/who-is-buying-property-in-pune-end.html

Part 7: Living in WAKAD PUNE - Social Infrastructure
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/wakad-social-infrastructure.html

Part 8: SMART HOME - a Gimmick Best Avoided - Smart Homes May Not Work in Pune
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/smart-home-gimmick-best-avoided.html

Part 9: LIVING IN PUNE - WALKING IN WAKAD - Musings on Urban Town Planning
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/living-in-pune-walking-in-wakad.html

Part 10: CART BEFORE THE HORSE URBAN TOWN PLANNING MODEL of PUNE
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/cart-before-horse-urban-town-planning.html

Part 11: PUNE – “Destination of the Past” or “City of the Future”?
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/05/pune-cons.html

Part 12: TUM TUM SCENE IN WAKAD Pune - Travelling to Hinjewadi
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/tum-tum-scene-in-wakad-travelling-to.html

Part 13: STAY INSIDE STAY COOL
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/04/living-in-wakad-stay-inside-stay-cool.html

Part 14: Eating out in Pune – WAKAD FOOD GUIDE
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/08/wakad-food-guide-eating-in-pune.html

Part 15: PUNE PROPERTY PUZZLE – Are You Thinking of Buying a Resale House
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/08/pune-property-puzzle-are-you-thinking.html

Part 16: PUNE PROPERTY GUIDE - BEWARE OF THE WORD “ANNEXE”
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/08/pune-real-estate-property-guide-beware.html

Part 17: AVOID A PROJECT WITH PIPED GAS
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/10/pune-home-buying-tip-avoid-property.html

Property buyers are always at the receiving end because of their ignorance
VAT on RESIDENTIAL HOMES and PROPERTY - The Hot Topic in PUNE REAL ESTATE REALTY SCENE
An informative blog post by Ravi on the VAT issue
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/11/vat-on-residential-homes-and-property.html

HAPPY HOUSE HUNTING
Posted by Vikram Karve

A Naval Yarn - http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/10/a-fleet-auxiliary-called-semaphore.html

via karvediat.blogspot.com

Click the link below to read the naval yarn

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/10/a-fleet-auxiliary-called-semaphore.html